For Richer

As my google maps took me to an older part of Columbus, I wasn’t really surprised. These resources tend to be located in poorer parts of town. But what does that even mean anyway? I have lived in the poor part of town most of my married life, and I am very rich. It’s all relative. There is income, and there is social capital. There is financial poverty, and there is spiritual poverty.

On this sunny Fall day, the old brick houses spaced tightly together along this street looked rather charming, though I’m sure many of them are rentals, and I saw an occasional boarded up unit.

I parked in the lot across from the food pantry. This was my third visit to a food pantry this month, but the first time on my own. I felt comfortable at this point – happy and grateful.

The first time I drove to a food pantry and saw the line of people outside of what I later found out was the “free store” for clothes and things, I didn’t think I could bring myself to go in. My friend was on her way to meet me (I think she had a hunch I could use support). I called her and knew I could be vulnerable with her.

“I can’t go in there, Caitlin.”

Empathetic but positive as ever (thank God for good friends!) she told me she understood, and that she felt some resistance when she first went. She asked me,

“What are you feeling? Undeserving? Prideful?”

Pride, I guessed. Being honest, I said, “I don’t feel like I belong here.”

She assured me she would go in with me. She described how she focuses on how we are all children of God. I love having a friend who testifies in everyday conversation.

Well we went in, and it was fine of course. I got some free produce.

I have since decided that because things are so tight with a mortgage and a post-doc salary, I might as well go to a food pantry once a week to stretch our money that much farther. After all, we completely qualify based on our income and family size. And I’m not taking from anyone else. The food is there for us to use!

Today as I approached this pantry I’d never been to before, I was greeted and helped by friendly staff--female and male, white and black, old and young. I was given a cart and plenty of bags to fill with as much produce as I could use. There was fresh corn and lettuce, there were potatoes, pears, peaches, tomatoes, watermelon as well as bread and milk. As I filled my bags, meal ideas came to mind – corn chowder, home made tomato soup, peach cobbler.

The word that kept coming into my mind was abundance. This was such an abundance of beautiful food, available to anyone who needs it! It would allow me to create wonderful meals for my family.

I hear about abundance from life coaches like Jody Moore and Brooke Castillo. They teach that there is plenty of money. That money is easy. I’ve pondered how this relates to a family who does not own their own business, and for a man who has been guided to academia, where there are politics to navigate. My husband is working really hard (and smart, I would add). It will pay off with a faculty position eventually, but in the mean time, well, here I am going to food pantries to save a few bucks to maybe spend on decorative pumpkins or something. It doesn’t seem like our positive thinking is translating into more $$$$.

But today I had a different perspective. When you think abundantly, you open your mind to different possibilities. This is why we chose to invest in a house instead of continuing to rent. This is why I felt prompted to open a piano studio in our home and utilize my new neighborhood to find students. This is why Jeff works later on Monday nights, teaching at the community college. And this is why I have become humble enough to go to food pantries.

There IS plenty of money. As we have leaned into our situation with open communication instead of stressing and worrying about it, we have gotten to know our finances better, and become more intentional than ever with what we do with our money.

Abundance is a mindset. Our income might not be multiplying yet, but we are being inspired to do more with what we have. Creativity is fueling my meal planning, home decor, and family activities. And with morning and night backyard play, music lessons and casual singing, storybooks, and lots of giggles, we have a truly rich life.