For Richer

As my google maps took me to an older part of Columbus, I wasn’t really surprised. These resources tend to be located in poorer parts of town. But what does that even mean anyway? I have lived in the poor part of town most of my married life, and I am very rich. It’s all relative. There is income, and there is social capital. There is financial poverty, and there is spiritual poverty.

On this sunny Fall day, the old brick houses spaced tightly together along this street looked rather charming, though I’m sure many of them are rentals, and I saw an occasional boarded up unit.

I parked in the lot across from the food pantry. This was my third visit to a food pantry this month, but the first time on my own. I felt comfortable at this point – happy and grateful.

The first time I drove to a food pantry and saw the line of people outside of what I later found out was the “free store” for clothes and things, I didn’t think I could bring myself to go in. My friend was on her way to meet me (I think she had a hunch I could use support). I called her and knew I could be vulnerable with her.

“I can’t go in there, Caitlin.”

Empathetic but positive as ever (thank God for good friends!) she told me she understood, and that she felt some resistance when she first went. She asked me,

“What are you feeling? Undeserving? Prideful?”

Pride, I guessed. Being honest, I said, “I don’t feel like I belong here.”

She assured me she would go in with me. She described how she focuses on how we are all children of God. I love having a friend who testifies in everyday conversation.

Well we went in, and it was fine of course. I got some free produce.

I have since decided that because things are so tight with a mortgage and a post-doc salary, I might as well go to a food pantry once a week to stretch our money that much farther. After all, we completely qualify based on our income and family size. And I’m not taking from anyone else. The food is there for us to use!

Today as I approached this pantry I’d never been to before, I was greeted and helped by friendly staff--female and male, white and black, old and young. I was given a cart and plenty of bags to fill with as much produce as I could use. There was fresh corn and lettuce, there were potatoes, pears, peaches, tomatoes, watermelon as well as bread and milk. As I filled my bags, meal ideas came to mind – corn chowder, home made tomato soup, peach cobbler.

The word that kept coming into my mind was abundance. This was such an abundance of beautiful food, available to anyone who needs it! It would allow me to create wonderful meals for my family.

I hear about abundance from life coaches like Jody Moore and Brooke Castillo. They teach that there is plenty of money. That money is easy. I’ve pondered how this relates to a family who does not own their own business, and for a man who has been guided to academia, where there are politics to navigate. My husband is working really hard (and smart, I would add). It will pay off with a faculty position eventually, but in the mean time, well, here I am going to food pantries to save a few bucks to maybe spend on decorative pumpkins or something. It doesn’t seem like our positive thinking is translating into more $$$$.

But today I had a different perspective. When you think abundantly, you open your mind to different possibilities. This is why we chose to invest in a house instead of continuing to rent. This is why I felt prompted to open a piano studio in our home and utilize my new neighborhood to find students. This is why Jeff works later on Monday nights, teaching at the community college. And this is why I have become humble enough to go to food pantries.

There IS plenty of money. As we have leaned into our situation with open communication instead of stressing and worrying about it, we have gotten to know our finances better, and become more intentional than ever with what we do with our money.

Abundance is a mindset. Our income might not be multiplying yet, but we are being inspired to do more with what we have. Creativity is fueling my meal planning, home decor, and family activities. And with morning and night backyard play, music lessons and casual singing, storybooks, and lots of giggles, we have a truly rich life.

Tending to the Whole Soul

Mental Health for Latter-Day Saints

Have you ever felt distant from God despite your best efforts to live righteously? Have you ever felt darkness despite having the light of the gospel in your life? Have you ever felt sad and then quickly felt guilty because you know you are blessed with knowledge of God’s Plan of Happiness, and surely shouldn’t feel this way? Have you ever felt anxious and sought relief from gospel sources only to feel worse?

If you have, first of all, you are not alone. These feelings are very real, and can be confusing. And there are SO many people with these challenges. I have personally been through times of depression and have watched people close to me struggle with anxiety and other mental health issues. It can feel like one of the hardest mortal challenges because it attacks the very way we perceive life and the gospel – our mind.

Also, if not recognized or if misdiagnosed, mental health issues can have spiritual repercussions. An Ensign article from February 2016 expounded on depression and had this insight:

“Understanding that there are spiritual side effects from depression is important for Latter-day Saints dealing with their own depression or that of loved ones. Depression, in all forms, alters perception, making it difficult to feel peace, love, joy, or any of the fruits of the Spirit. It becomes easy to misinterpret sorrow as condemnation by God, thus causing spiritual struggles and sometimes inactivity in the Church. This may cause further distress for individuals and families facing this challenge. It is essential to understand that such a spiritual crisis is not a result of spiritual weakness or lack of faith. Rather, depressive feelings and the resulting depressed view of one’s spirituality are usually caused by a chemical imbalance. Because our physical bodies and our spirits are necessarily connected (see D&C 88:15), it can be common to feel the effects of a physical disorder in a spiritual way, especially in the case of depression, which alters our very perception of ourselves. Therefore, it is important to seek out the actual source of such feelings, especially when experiencing the often-distorting effects of depression.”

Today I want to make a case for acknowledging mental illness (or a bad week of out-of-balance mental health) for what it is, and thereby achieving greater wholeness and connection.

We must be careful not to diagnose ourselves with a spiritual shortcoming when our struggle is actually a physical problem. It could be a chemical imbalance, a lack of self-care, or many other causes.

As people of faith, we may default to addressing feelings of despair or anxiety by sending up a frantic prayer, or pouring over the scriptures to find relief.

While praying and reading scriptures daily are essential to staying close to the Spirit and putting God first in our lives, they may not be the solution for emotional problems. For example, when we are depressed or experiencing a panic attack, reading MORE scriptures will likely not improve the situation, because it is not a spiritual problem. So let us be wise.

The physical needs that we have are not less important than our spiritual needs. Nor are they less holy.

It has been said that we are spiritual beings having a mortal experience. Part of that mortality is having a body with emotions. These feelings are not bad, but are just part of being human, and, I believe, when properly managed, part of being a god. It is my belief that learning how to deal with our feelings in healthy ways is an important part of our refinement.

There is some natural tension between the body and the spirit. If left unchecked, the body’s appetites would encourage us to lead a hedonistic life without regard for the feelings of others or our own long-term well-being. So we definitely don’t want the body to rule the spirit.

My only problem with striving to always prioritize the spirit (our personal spirit) is that can misguide us to believe the body is the enemy. The truth is that our body is sacred.

The Lord has said,

“The spirit and the body are the soul of man.” (Doctrine and Covenants 88:15)

Tending to the needs of your body is not less important than the needs of your spirit. Your body is a temple. It is sacred.

Good sleep, regular exercise, and wise nutrition are all hugely important for our mental health and overall well-being. In my opinion these endeavors are just as vital to our eternal journey as is scripture study and prayer are. Mind – body – spirit wholeness is a noble pursuit.

For man is spirit. The elements are eternal, and spirit and element, inseparably connected, receive a fulness of joy;

And when separated, man cannot receive a fulness of joy.

Doctrine and Covenants 93:33-34

It is not a battle of the spirit conquering the body. They are to be completely connected and filled with light. Pursuing wholeness is the journey of a lifetime, and it is possible because of Jesus Christ.

This fabulous Ensign article from 1985 about the body put it really well:

“People who understand these truths understand that the “real” self, or soul, is both body and spirit. They may feel a oneness, an inner satisfaction, as both parts work together in righteousness…..they want to prepare, both in body and in spirit, to live with their Heavenly Father again.”

It is fundamental to our theology that this process of sanctification involves not only the spirit, but the body as well. As we give heed to the promptings of the Spirit and purify our lives, the Lord promises: “your whole bodies shall be filled with light, … and that body which is filled with light comprehendeth all things. (D&C 88:67)

Barbara Lockhart, Ensign February 1985

So if caring for our physical bodies is worth our best efforts, what are some things we can do to help with our mental health? I will share a few things that have been helpful for me and that seem important to me.

Physical

First, we have to take care of the basic physical needs.

Consistent, sufficient sleep is the BIGGEST asset to mental health.

If there is chronic, diagnosed mental illness, medication is very important! If you need permission from an apostle, here is Elder Holland:

If you had appendicitis, God would expect you to seek a priesthood blessing and get the best medical care available. So too with emotional disorders. Our Father in Heaven expects us to use all of the marvelous gifts He has provided in this glorious dispensation.

Get to a stable place and then you can work on the many other things that can boost emotional health.

Exercise is well-known to be hugely beneficial for both body and mind.

Wisely pursuing good nutrition has an impact on the state of the mind and spirit as well as the body.

All of these physical aspects of life, when pursued with moderation, are holy because your body is sacred and is connected with your spirit.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is all the rage right now, and I think that is because it is so needed. Mindfulness is being fully present in your body and with your feelings. This is ideally a way of being, but in today’s world, it requires practice.

We can practice mindfulness any time (while eating, in the shower, on a walk, on a break at work). But it can be beneficial to set up a regular meditation practice, such as by using an app that you can use in the morning or afternoon, before bed, or whenever works for you.

Most meditations begin by inviting you to focus on your breath. This is the best way to get you to bring your consciousness to the present moment, and into your body. Sometimes that is the entire practice. Other times there is some work on the way we think, which can also be very helpful.

Meditation is beneficial in the moment, but also has an impact on how we respond to stressful things that come up in our day. Over time, we can become less reactive, and more aware of what we are feeling, and more conscious and intentional about the way we think.

For me, being in nature is a way to connect my body and spirit

Yoga

Yoga is like a physical mindfulness practice. The more I do it the more I realize that it is not about getting into intense poses, or becoming super flexible. Yoga is about starting where you are. And yes, you do become more strong and flexible, and because yoga is all about the mind-body connection, your mind and spirit will also become more strong and flexible.

When I practice yoga it feels like a powerful act of self-love, and a way to reverence my body. This reverence makes me more peaceful and open to the Spirit.

Feeling our feelings

It is very important to allow both positive and negative emotions within ourselves, rather than burying them, or “buffering” with distractions and false pleasures. Remember that both positive and negative emotions are part of the mortal experience and key to God’s Plan. (2 Nephi 2:11, 24-25)

If you have been taught that certain feelings are wrong, it may take some work to change that belief inside yourself. Also, some feelings are just uncomfortable, and we naturally resist them. Learning to allow them takes practice.

Feeling our feelings allows us to actually solve our problems, rather than disconnecting and aggravating them. It is a more whole way of living. Like Adam and Eve, our eyes can be opened to the good and the evil, and to the “joy of our redemption.” (Moses 5:10-11)

Thought work

The thing that has helped me with a lot of these concepts is an arena of the self-help world called “Thought work.” I learned about this first from Jody Moore on her podcast Better Than Happy. She is a Latter-day Saint “life coach” who has a business helping anyone who wants help in this area and produces a free podcast episode weekly. She learned a lot of what she does from Brooke Castillo, founder of the Life Coach School, who also has a podcast you can listen to. I’m sure there are many other people teaching similar things, but these are the ones I have been exposed to and that have really helped me.

Because the truth is, there are many things we can’t control in life, but the one thing we can control is ourselves. And what we sometimes don’t realize is how everything we do stems from the way we think. We think so automatically sometimes though that we aren’t even aware of how hidden beliefs are affecting us. Listening to these podcasts and doing the work to become aware of my thoughts, and being open to different, more helpful thoughts, has been life-changing in my motherhood, other relationships, and my productivity. Think about how much time and energy you can save by not worrying about some of the things that occupy your mind that are completely out of your control. It is so freeing! And when you let go of the figurative junk in your mind, it clears space to actually do what you want to do and be who you want to be. This is intentional living.

The help of the Lord

Of course we can’t do any of this without the help of the Lord Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father. Whether it’s the love of our Father which reminds of our worth and gives us a reason to even try in the first place, or the enabling power of Christ’s atonement when we are trying to do something beyond our capacity, He is the beginning and the end, the author and the finisher of our faith.

I am sure many of us have had times when we are in a dark place and we wish the Lord would just pull us out, but we are left there seemingly to struggle on our own.

He never abandons us. But I do think He must know there are lessons too precious to miss out on if he were to take away our burden right away. He also certainly can and does guide us to resources and influences that can help us learn these priceless lessons about peace and happiness. I know I have experienced that in my own life and the lives of loved ones.

Don’t give up on your faith. Keep praying. Pour out the desires of your heart to Him.

I would like to add however that in my experience, doing these other acts of self-care, such as taking even just a few minutes to meditate (sit and focus only on breathing), or doing a simple yoga practice, or going to bed early when I’m exhausted, help me to have more heartfelt prayers and meaningful gospel study. I feel that in order to truly connect with God, I must be connected with myself. In order to give my heart to Him, I need to take the time to be still and get clear on what is going on in my heart.

I hope anyone reading this who struggles with mental health will know that the Lord loves you, you are not alone, and that the things you are learning and going through will “work together for your good.” (Doctrine and Covenants 98:3). And that tending to the whole soul-- body, mind and spirit-- is a holy pursuit that will yield deeper connection to self, to God and to others. In other words, deeper joy.

Recommended Books

Let God Love You by Wendy Ulrich

Self-Compassion by Kristen