Cholestasis is a condition where for some reason (probably pregnancy hormones) your liver slows down the production of bile. This causes a build up of bile acids in the liver, which can spill into the blood stream. The main symptom is itchiness.
However, there are also risks to the baby. There is an increased risk of unexplained stillbirth, so it is recommended that the mother be induced early, between 37-38 weeks.
When I found out about this I was of course a little stressed. A few days later I asked Jeff for a priesthood blessing, and was assured that the baby would be fine, but also counseled to follow the advice of the medical professionals.
So for some time now we have known (after double and triple checking) that it is recommended that I be delivered early. Early on we looked at the calendar and felt really good about June 15. That is 38 1/2 weeks for me.
The funny thing is, I have about the most mild case of cholestasis possible. This, and some other things lead me to believe this is just meant to be this time around.
First of all, it was amazing that my friend Jennie noticed me itching my arms, and told me to talk to my midwife about it. What my midwife told me about cholestasis actually convinced that I didn't have it. But they ordered labs and my blood level was just high enough to diagnose. A second blood draw a couple weeks later, my level was even lower. For many weeks I have not even been itchy at all.
Another interesting factor is that I had been stressing about when to have my mom come -- trying to avoid her choir rehearsal times and concert dates, but choosing between having her come for the birth and staying shorter, or coming later (somehow surviving) and staying longer. I went back and forth and neither of us felt a rush for her to buy plane tickets.
Additionally, as a post-doc, Jeff does not have any vacation days, personal time off, not to mention paternal leave. And his sick days have stipulations. So I was pretty worried about getting help and support while recovering and adjusting to life with a newborn and two other children.
I have now been officially scheduled to be induced June 15. Because my case is so mild, and I am having non-stress tests every week, the high-risk OB is comfortable letting me wait till 39 weeks to be induced.
This date solves those problems! My mom knows when to come and can stay a good amount of time. Jeff and I chose a day that is a Friday, so he can just use one sick day initially, and be with me that first special weekend.
So while I would otherwise never want to be induced, I of course want to protect the baby, and this is working out as a blessing for me as well. I am so grateful for the peace I feel.
That said, it is interesting, because I have been reading this most wonderful things about birth, and am looking so forward to doing it again with no epidural. I am slightly sad that I will have to be induced artificially, and will have to be in the hospital for the entire labor process, instead of starting at home. I imagine it will be more challenging to do it naturally with pitocin, but I am grateful to know of many other women who have done it.
It is important for me to just let myself be sad about this, but I also think I will work out as best as possible. I have midwives that are supportive of my desires to have a natural birth, the hospital has many options for laboring positions available, they will allow me to give birth in whatever position I like. Also, I know I need to keep my mind open, and whatever needs to happen will be fine.
But you better believe, I will be doing all the natural things the week of my induction, to help my body prepare!
Can I share some beautiful passages from a birth story in my new favorite book, The Gift of Giving Life?
In sharing this, I realized that some women reading this may have not yet had the opportunity to give birth, and others who have given birth, may have had a very different experience. That is ok. Just like with anything that is good and true, I think it is worth sharing for that very reason -- it is good and true.
This is from the story of Neoma Gould, who was actually induced for medical reasons as well. The labor was not easy, but with the support of her husband, using the birthing ball, receiving a priesthood blessing, and laboring in the hot bath, she made it to transition and pushing without getting an epidural.
"At that point [pushing] all breathing patterns went out the window. I made all sorts of moaning sounds...the pushing went fast. Before I knew it, the baby just slimed right out. I was surprised. I remember being amazed at how when the baby came out the pain relief was instantaneous and complete. It was all gone, and I felt wonderful -- exhausted but wonderful. Our baby was here. He was beautiful and perfect.
"I was overwhelmed by feeling of awe at what my body had just done. It was so hard. It was so painful and yet it was incredibly fulfilling and empowering. I was so glad I chose to experience all of it. I felt so close to God.... billions of women all over the world and throughout the millennia had experience this same thing. They had all felt contractions. We had all come nigh unto death to bring forth life.
"Since then I've reflected on how going through a natural birth has helped me better understand Christ's Atonement. During the intensely painful part of labor, I remember wondering if there was any other way, but I knew the only way for this spirit to come to earth was through my body. I chose to submit my desires to God's will.
"...I know God chose to have His children come to earth through pregnancy, labor and delivery, with all its discomforts and joys. He must have designed it this way for a reason. Heavenly Father didn't do this to women as a punishment, but as a blessing."
Sheri Dew has said, "Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us.
The ability to give birth is part of our divine inheritance as women, whether or not you have gone through it yet. I love the beautiful things I am learning as I read story after story of a variety of different birth experiences -- hospital births, home births, C-sections, inductions-- where all of the women have a prayerful attitude and a spiritual perspective. (shameless plug for this incredible book!!! I can't say enough good about it)
I am so excited to give birth again and to meet this little girl!
