Jeff and I watched the face to face last night and Elder Rasband asked people to share how they hear Him. I love that he pointed out that we all hear Him in different ways. I know that is true, and not only that, but my way of hearing Him has evolved during different seasons of my life.
Lately, being pregnant with my fourth, I have experienced and embraced having less energy than I would if I were not pregnant. Where before I was waking up early and exercising regularly, now I do not wake up early and I don't really exercise besides walking and stretching. This change did get me down first trimester, but now I have accepted it and feel at peace. That said, my scripture study has not been amazing lately -- meaning not very much time and not very many big insights.
However, I have definitely felt guided and felt a lot of peace. So in that sense I would say I am feeling close to the Spirit. I DO do scripture study -- some kind of reading of scripture or a conference talk -- each day, because I have a testimony and I want to keep it that way. I know it will keep me grounded in truth and help me not be deceived. But scripture study isn't currently the main way the Spirit is speaking to me.
So how do I hear Him? There are a variety of ways. One way I experience the Holy Ghost that I have felt throughout my life, is to feel the Spirit washing over my body like a wind, that gives me chills and brings tears to my eyes. This can easily happen when listening to powerful music, or can sometimes happen when listening to a speaker and you know that what they're saying is true, and that it is from God.
I want to share that I can also tap into this feeling while meditating and praying. While praying, I feel the Spirit most powerfully when I am the most reverent. When I express awe and praise towards God. When I express gratitude.
Meditation and prayer are closely related. Partly because I am into meditation, and partly because kneeling while pregnant doesn't feel very good, I often end up seated cross-legged in my closet, opening my heart to God in that position. It feels naturally reverent towards God and also helps me feel like a sacred being. Sitting tall but relaxed with hands open and heart lifted just invites the Spirit to touch my spirit! Sometimes I just breathe, other times I imagine my Heavenly Parents, and just know that I am a daughter of God. It's a powerfully basic truth to tap into, and I love that I can do that simply with the power of my mind and being still. If anyone would like to learn more about meditating, please ask, I would love to share!
The other way the Spirit works with me is in guiding my mind with regard to decisions. For me, at every major decision point in my life, God has NOT told me what to do -- Which college to attend, which major to choose, whether to marry my husband or not, when to have babies. While I have prayed about all of these things, with each one, it was my choice. Now this does not mean God doesn't care or was not involved. On the contrary, I know He has guided me, and helped me make good decisions when I have asked.
The most recent example of this was in deciding what to do for school for my children with the current circumstances. I had been stressed about this during the summer, and honestly not wanted to even think about it. I didn't like any of my options! So I decided I needed revelation. On a Tuesday evening, I decided I would go on a walk by myself the next morning. Even though I wasn't feeling very spiritual, I sang hymns as an offering of faith, and to invite the Spirit to be with me. I prayed for help in making this decision. In the morning, I went on a walk on a lovely trail near our neighborhood. On this walk, I actually didn't think about school at all. I was praying the entire time, but about my spirituality and discipleship. I listened to the talk The Beauty of Holiness, by Carol McConkie. I think I needed this time to come to a place of peace. Also, by the end of the walk, I decided I wanted to do a walk like this (in nature, just me) every week. And I realized, that whether I did distance learning or homeschool, self-care needed to be in place, and I would make that a priority.
That gave me the peace I needed to make a decision that would take courage. Talking with Jeff and with my parents about my concerns for the various options helped me sort through my thoughts. So from that place of peace, I was able to clearly see what I wanted, and also what fears were coming up. I was able to make a choice that I felt good about.
As I shared on social media, I chose to do home school. While there were definitely reasons I thought I could never do homeschool, I feel that years of practicing mindfulness and doing thought work helped me to see past those reasons, and have confidence that I was making a decision I could stand by. So I would say the Spirit guided me in making this decision, but that the ways I have worked on my mind have allowed me to be receptive to this guidance. I felt peace from the beginning and haven't looked back!
Earlier this year Pres. Nelson said, “Do whatever it takes to increase your spiritual capacity to receive personal revelation."
I would submit that some of that "spiritual work" he mentioned a few years ago could be learning about and improving mental health. This is a worthy cause that has spiritual benefits! Improving the health of our minds is like sharpening the instrument through which we receive revelation. "The spirit and the body is the soul of man" and I love taking care of both!
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